A New Phase.

Since my last post in February, I have made progress on several fronts.

 1) Although two of the three potential team leaders (myself included) were not officially named as such, in May 2012 I was put in charge of our spanking new Personal Audio store at Republic Plaza. It is Bose' very first Personal Audio store in the world. This is, by all intents and purposes, a major milestone in my career - as this shows I'm now trusted enough to run my own showroom. I'm running it alone due a shortage in manpower. Well, since I'm trusted this much, I shall tend to it lovingly. *Chuckles* Now, my major mission is in increasing my Showroom's sales within 3 months. This is the start of my 3rd week here, and I'm bringing in an average of a few thousand a week. I will strive to up that to ten thousand a week, G-d willing!

2) Three days ago, I got married to my girlfriend of 2 years! As I'm typing this I'm looking at my wedding ring. I shall be wearing it for a very. very, very long time indeed. =)

 3) Preparations for our honeymoon trip to Europe is proceeding as planned. lol.

 4) Came back into contact with a childhood friend. Glad he is coping well with his new career. It's tougher for him as he also lost his father recently.

 So far, I'm living life on a high note. Never EVER felt better in my life!

Updates.

Since my last post, some major developments:

- I have been officially selected as one of the Team Leaders being placed on 'probation' for a month, along with the person I was bitching about in my earlier posts. 'Confirmation' will be in about a week. Perseverance and patience do pay off dividends.

- Ber and I have gotten down to making some major decisions pertaining to our wedding dinner and Registering for our marriage. We even paid the deposit for holding our wedding in that lavish hotel in town.

Was I worrying too much about the promotion? I'll most probably be getting it anyway. Keeping fingers crossed! Fight on and fight hard...

Feroze has oficially left the company as of today. He really was one promising chap. According to him, he did seriously consider making this his long-term career, but that car accident he had shook him up much. He had some sort of epiphany, and decided to pursue his dream career in Health Sciences. He's going to study for his Master's degree and secure that coveted job. The four of us, Fadlin, Fazli, Feroze and myself, held a farewell dinner for him at the Arabic restaurant 'Al-Majlis' down at Arab Street. Really had a great time bitching about people. We're gonna miss your antics, Feroze!

All the best to him! It's going to be tough for him. I wished him 'kol HaKavod' and implored him to be brave and courageous, and to keep to the straight and narrow when he becomes a leader in his company.

I was really speaking to myself at the same time.

Getting passed over.

There are multiple ways to look at it.

1) Getting passed over means someone is better than me though I have been working super hard and putting in the extra effort, leading by example. It won't look good on my resume either.

2) Getting spared all the responsibilities and duties that come with Leadership, giving me time and space to do stuff that I love and have full off days. I can even take up an instrument!

3) It reveals areas that I need to work on before I can be considered for leadership. I need to talk about this with someone.

Thing is, I have been taking on more responsibilities than others, such as being forwarded and answering email queries by VJ, rostering people faithfully for the past 1 year+, performing backend maintenance of the showroom...

But the potential TL will take over the current TL's role. It feels like skipping a level to me. Seriously man??

People can really get around with good looks and flamboyant, talkative personalities. He's done it at his previous companies. Granted he's been doing more stuff at his own initiative but these are one-off things, not stuff requiring consistency and faithfulness.

Some things that he said he will do but did not:
1) repairing my souvenir magnet that he broke with glue.
2) calling the lightbulb repairman to fix a vey important lightbulb but he did not, even after a week.
3) reporting to time-off IC when he takes time off. (I had to help him report it on several occasions, what is he trying to do?)
4) he has to be followed up on in returning borrowed items.
5) only replying text from people he feels are important to him (superiors).
6) creating a service-call file. He's been wanting to do it since december. When?
7) And other stuff.

I might argue otherwise, but if they see him as a good fit, HaShem is good, and whatever he sends us is good. Even this, is good, though I may not see it now, only in hindsight will I appreciate its true value.

I blog little but frequency is building up.

This happens only if I'm vexed about something every other day.

I've just about given up about becoming one of the next team leaders, though I still hope - however futile.

I just don't have that X factor. I'm not a flamboyant personality, I'm not very talkative too. I'm just very anal about taking care of the back-end. Making sure everything runs smoothly... Making sure the stuff are aligned right.. The place clean and presentable... Fingerprints. Making sure peoples' fingernails are cut, etc. (Though I can only point long fingernails out to juniors.)

I've been losing a bit of enthusiasm nowadays. Bad thing. Must work on continuing to improve on my demonstration skills. Must get inspired again.

Maybe I'm just tired. Maybe I'm just discouraged.

I hope it's just me, but I feel my manager doesn't feel comfortable talking to me about stuff.

By stuff, I mean even casual talk. I must be pretty boring to talk to.

I bought a Dale Carnegie book about managing worry. Works pretty fine. He said the way to deal with the inevitable in life is to accept it, and flow with it. The rigid tree snaps when met with a hurricane, but the tree that bends with the wind survives.

Bruce Lee - When you pour water into a cup it becomes the cup. When you pour water into a teapot it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow... or it can crash. Be water, my friend.

Adaptability to the inevitable is the way to peace.

Start of a new year!

2011 started off with a bang, but its ending could have been better. No year end bonus, and someone taking MC on the first day of 2012 meaning i have to go back to work on this most awesome of my off days. I'm not the only demoralized person, my colleagues are too. Everyone thought they'd be receiving bonuses this year but it was not to be so.

Last Christmas was awesome! I don't celebrate but i did buy a small gift for my baby, and her nephew who's about to turn 3! I haven't bought a gift for a child before so it's quite the fresh experience i expected. Got my gf the beautiful cup/tea maker she was eyeing. Her gift for me blew me away though, got my very coveted pair of Ray-Ban Aviators!! I've always wanted a pair but I couldn't afford it, so she lovingly got it for me!

I'm so lucky, really, to have her as my official fiancé. That's right$ we're engaged! And we're getting married this year! Amd we'll be honeymooning in Europe!

Something beautiful will be happening in this tough year ahead!

Struggles.

You always struggle about something. Doesn't matter if it's about work, love, family. Life is full of struggles. I'm about to let you in on one of my greatest struggles in life - recognition. (or lack thereof)

I was never good enough to be recognised for my work, but even when i DO feel adequate, recognition bypasses me.

My last post was about stepping aside. I've never reconciled myself to it. I have doubts about myself. Am I ready for this or not? I have so many shortcomings that I don't think I can progress, or should.

Confidence. Competence. Commitment. I am competent, committed, but my confidence has suffered many blows that I feel I should not even think I deserve a promotion.

When you have rivals, they help reveal your weaknesses. Especially if they're better in certain areas. I need to work on those areas, but I fear time may not be in my favour.

If it comes to that (being passed over) I shall perform as I am, but I'm gonna feel like a loser.

How am I to deal with that?

Not ready.

Like Spock in the latest Star Trek movie. As soon as I felt I am not adequate to assume a leadership role, I should have stepped down.

My attitude towards my colleagues leaves much to be desired. I should watch how I frame my words when confronting someone about an issue, any issue. I should be more gentle.

Yet time and again I start off 'discussions' on a wrong footing, and it devolves into an argument.

Fact is, the team don't respect me as someone they could look up to. They just feel 'comfortable' working with me, and that I am really capable in the showroom. As far as getting people to look up to me, I'm not there yet.

I'm not ready.

Would I rather let some junior take on a leadership role instead of I?

Maybe. But it would be done so grudgingly since none of my juniors in the shop take more ownership of this place than me.

I got to buy another copy of 'How to win friends and influence people' by Dale Carnegie. I threw my old copy away along with the roach-infested box the other time.

I never finished the book.

So if I wanna stay in the game, I gotta brush up my act and be nicer, even when telling people off.

Tough.